behind the glitter, i am just another heartbroken guy looking for love
by CharlotteJeanF
Summary: Magnus and Alec start to get real close, but then Alec has doubts. Do they end up happy? This takes place during CoA, when Alec is "exchanged" for Jace and lives with Magnus.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey peeps!**

**My second non-Harry-Potter-fic! Yay! Broadening horizons and stuff, you know? ;) Oh, and the archieve's growing! Wohoo!**

**I have to say that I joined the Shadowhunter-fandom only recently and I've just started City of Glass, so please don't slap me or hate me or spoil me or anything. Oh, and yes, I do know that Malec break up in CoLS and yes, it hurts! **

**I have to say, Clace is cute, but MALEC! OMFG! I'm just freaking out about them all the time!**

**So, I hope you forgive me for really becoming a Shadowhunter just recently and not having read all the books yet, and I hope you enjoy this anyways! It really means a lot to me.**

**Oh, and don't forget to r & r! ;)**

**Part 2 is about to come real soon!**

**Cheers!**

**Xx**

**behind the glitter, i am just another heartbroken guy looking **

**for love**

„Magnus?"

The familiar voice faded through the apartment, and Magnus Bane looked up rather slowly, turning his eyes away from the newest episode of _Laguna Beach _only unwillingly. The young Shadowhunter he'd kept here for the exact amount of three hours and a half now in trade for Jace Wayland was starting to really stress him out. And Magnus Bane was _never _stressed out.

„_Magnus_!" The voice called again, louder and more urgent than before. Magnus didn't answer, though. He'd decided that if Alexander Lightwood felt the need to talk to him, he might as well move his cute little ass and not just stay put and shout as loud as his Shadowhunter-lungs would do.

Magnus was still thinking about the perfect shape of Alec's butt and how it melted into downright sexy, long, lean legs as the door flew open and hit the wall loudly.

Magnus winced, causing Chairman Meow, who'd been snuggled into his lap, enjoying the extra-cuddling, to let out a terrifying hiss and sink his claws into Magnus' right leg. Magnus let out a small cry of pain, and after unbelievably long five seconds Chairman Meow eventually pulled his talons out of the warlock's flesh, only to jump down from the couch and hide under the bed.

„Dammit, Alec! You nearly gave me a heartattack _and _my leg needs to be taken off now!" Magnus said, holding on to his bleeding extremity.

Alec snorted. „It's your own fault," he said. „You could've answered me."

„I – hate – you," Magnus hissed through gritted teeth, unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down halfways to reveal four deep, bleeding scratches on his thigh. He could've healed them easily, but he decided he'd rather keep complaining about the pain and have Alec look after him.

„No, you don't," Alec said and suppressed a grin. He knew exactly what the warlock was planning and there was no way he'd be playing along. „You _love _me; everybody does."

Magnus decided to punish him with silence, because threats didn't seem to work out the way he wanted them to. So he just kept his eyes on his leg, ran his hands over the wounds and watched them heal immediately. He was totally aware of the fact that Alec's beautiful blue orbs watched him as he waved away the blue, magic mist he'd caused to show.

„What I originally wanted to know was .. um .. do you know when Jace'll be back?" he eventually asked.

Magnus shrugged and continued surveying his leg.

Alec hesitated, but then he told himself that he was a Shadowhunter and not a coward and said, „Listen, I – I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt."

Magnus' head snapped up and he stared at the young, handsome Shadowhunter with disbelief. He wasn't sure if what he'd heard had been actually real or just another weird fantasy of his – Alec _never _apologised for anything.

„Let – let me see," the boy mumbled, getting really uncomfortable under Magnus' cat-like stare, and before he could stop himself he walked over to the couch, sat down next to the warlock and ran his smooth, cool hands over the freshly grown skin of a muscular thigh.

The light, feathery touch sent a chill down Magnus' spine and he felt goosebumps growing on his arms. He started to shake lightly, and suddenly Alec seemed to notice what he was doing.

He pulled his hand away as if it'd been burnt, saying „Sorry, I didn't mean to, I .. um... sorry," and began to get up, but Magnus grabbed his hand and stopped him from running away.

„Don't," he said, making eye contact and putting Alec's hand back down on his bare skin. The touch electrified him, and he was sure his heart skipped at least sixty beats as Alec looked at him questioningly. „Don't what?" he asked.

But Magnus just shook his head and repeated, „Don't." He intertwined their fingers, lacing them together tightly, and looked down at them. He wasn't even sure himself whether he wanted Alec to not be sorry or to not take his hand away. Probably both.

Magnus lifted his gaze again slowly, making eyecontact with the young Shadowhunter once more, noticing how close they were. „Don't," he whispered once more, as if he was speaking to himself, and then he cupped Alec's cheek with his free hand and leaned in and they finally did what he'd been dreaming about for the past two months: they kissed.

And it was beyond perfect, better than anything Magnus had ever imagined. At first only their lips were touching, softly and in an innocent way, but then Alec opened his mouth a bit and Magnus slid his tongue inside and Alec's tongue touched his. It was wet, and warm, and juicy, and Magnus tried to bring himself closer to Alec to taste him even better. Alec's free hand traced patterns on Magnus' cheek and down his neck and inside his shirt and then, on his chest, Alec suddenly stopped – he tensed up, pulling away immediately and jumping up. His eyes were wide open with shock, his cheeks were flushed red and his hair was messy, but he didn't seem to care because he just realised what he'd done.

_He'd been kissing a guy. _

Magnus got to his feet, grabbing his pants with his left hand to prevent them from sliding down his legs, looking at the darkhaired boy in front of him.

„Alec-" he started, but was cut off by the sound of a closing door, footsteps and Jace's sharp voice calling: „I'm home, darling!"

_Oh fuck. _Magnus could see the blind panic in Alec's eyes, and then the door opened, and Jace, Clary _and _Isabelle stared at them.

„I – _oh_," Jace interrupted himself and Magnus realised dimly how the situation must've been appearing to them: he standing there with his pants halfway pulled down, grabbing them desperately, Alec in front of him with red cheeks and messy hair.

„Should we ... um ... give you guys some ... uh ... time for ... er ..." For the first time in his life, Jace didn't know what to say. To him, it was obvious what had been happening before they came in.

„NO," Alec said sharply, slowly backing away and walking towards the door. „Us _guys _don't need any time, but I will leave now."

He spit the word „guys" out as if it was burning a hole into his tongue or as if it is was something so disgusting he couldn't even bear to think of, and then he turned around and nearly ran out.

And he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yay! Part two!**

**I am so glad so many of you left such positive reviews about the first part (some did so on Twitter, go check out my profile: CharlotteJeanF) and asked for the second! I tried my best to do it as fast as possible, hope it was fast enough for you ;)**

**I know, this is not a Malec scene, but this was in the back of my mind for ages and I thought it would fit well. Hope you enjoy it anyways!**

**If everything works out, the next part will be a scene between Jace and Alec, and the fourth and final part will be all Malec again. Just so you know! ;-)**

**OK, now read & enjoy, r & r and look out for part three! **

**Cheers!**

**Xx**

**chapter 2**

Jace had only gotten out of his clothes and settled in the hot, lovely bathtub, trying to relax after another stressful day with Clary (seriously, that girl would give him a heartattack one day), when Magnus called: „Ja-a-ace! You got a visitor! I'll just send her in, so cover your goods if needed!"

For half a second, he wanted to panic. What if it was Clary? But then he heard the door to his room open and his mind was suddenly clear again. He just had enough time to jump out of the warm water and wrap a towel around his body when Isabelle walked straight in, closing the door behind her.

„Hi there," she said without hesitation, „we need to talk."

„Don't you notice I'm _busy, _you stupid, ignorant _bitch _of a sister!" Jace scolded, trying to decide whether he should get dressed or not give a fuck and back into the tub again.

„Call me bitch again and you'll have the privilege to meet the _really mean _side of me, and by _really mean _I mean _really mean_," Izzy said undismayed, twirling her whip between her fingers back and forth.

Before Jace could make another nasty comment, Izzy said: „You can get back in there, you know. First of all I don't want your water to get old, and second there's so much foam I'm surprised you weren't suffocating yet, so I'm not gonna peek. Promise."

Jace hesitated for a moment, then he shrugged and said: „Fine, then turn around."

He was a bit surprised when Izzy obeyed immediately, but then he decided that it was just for his advantage and he dropped his towel and sunk back into the warm water and tried to cover as much of himself up with foam as possible. It was only when Isabelle turned around with a disgustingly wide grin that he noticed she'd been looking right into a mirror, which meant she'd probably seen him – _all _of him.

„You-" he started, but Izzy interrupted him by holding up one hand firmly. „I didn't see anything, well nothing important or impressing at least."

Jace gasped angrily, but Izzy continued quickly so he wouldn't even have the hint of a chance to say something hateful. „As I already said, we need to talk."

She sounded so serious Jace felt his heart growing heavy. What had happened? „Talk about what?"

„About Alec," she said, looking down at her feet, suddenly uncomfortable. Jace frowned. „Alec?"

„Yes." As the silence grew too weird, Izzy continued, hesitant and almost ... shy. That couldn't be true, Jace thought and decided his imagination was running wild after such a long, tiring day. Isabelle Lightwood was not one to be shy. „Did ... did you notice any changes in his ... um ... in the way he behaves when you're around?"

„I ... um, no, I guess. Nothing special, at least," Jace said, secretly wondering what kind of a question that was and why Isabelle wanted to talk to him about Alec so badly.

„Are you ... sure?" she asked, playing with her whip without looking at him. Jace' frown deepened.  
„Izzy, what's wrong? You're being weird, and I don't know why you want to talk about Alec while I'm in the bathtub and this makes no sense at all so-"

„He's in love with you," Isabelle blurted out, blushing deeply. Jace stared at her. „What?!"

„He's in love with you, or at least that's what he thinks," she said, fidgeting uncomfortably and still avoiding eyecontact.

„Are you telling me Alec is _gay_?!" Jace said disbelievingly.

„Um ... yes, I – I guess," Izzy answered. Jace tried to think about that possibility for a few seconds, and suddenly it all made sense: Alec blushing when Jace touched him accidentally, the way he secretly glanced at him when they were in the library and Jace pretended to read, why he didn't really like Clary, and, most of all, that scene with Magnus they'd just walked in on today.

But before Jace was able to understand fully what that meant and press all his thoughts into a sentence that actually made sense,Izzy nearly shouted at him: „Oh, but Jace! Don't tell him I told you. He'll hate me! And please, don't be mean or make a nasty comment! Just this one time! For Alec!"  
Jace scratched his head and said: „I won't, I promise." Isabelle looked at him, still nervous. „Good. Oh, and Jace? I need your help."

„You need my ... why?" Jace didn't know how, but Isabelle had the talent to confuse him completely with a simple sentence.

Suddenly, Izzy stood up, walked over to the door and turned to look at him once more. „I need you to make him see that it's not you he's in love with. It's Magnus."

And with that she left him alone, and Jace experienced what it was like to feel completely helpless for the first time in his life, and he decided that was not a feeling he liked.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hiiiii there! **

**I am really sorry I haven't updated in quite some time! I have been really busy with school and now I finally managed to find a free afternoon to finish & upload this! **

**But thanks for waiting so patiently. I hope you enjoy this part just as much as the first two, and please r & r! Would mean a lot.**

**Oh, yeah, keep your eyes open for the next and final part! I will try to do it faster than this one. **

**Cheers!**

**Xx**

**chapter 3**

Alec was chasing Church through the whole Institute when he heard someone enter. He didn't care much, though.

Izzy was just in time to help him catch Church so he could cut his talons, and if it wasn't her it was someone else who wanted to talk to his parents anyways, so he didn't feel the need to go and welcome whoever just came in.

He was throwing himself at Church, who elegantly dived away to hide under an armchair, when he heard the door to the library open.

„IZZY! Go help me _now_!" Alec shouted, not even looking at the door and crawling halfways under the chair, only to have Church hissing and scratching at him. „Ow! Stupid cat!"

Alec was working himself up from _a little bit angry _to _really pissed_. He wanted to cut the stupid cat's talons, and he wanted to do it _now _so he would still have a bit of training time before dinner, and he wanted Magnus to talk to him, and he wanted to kiss him again so badly, and he wanted to keep his stupid head from thinking about the warlock who was not only off limits but also a _guy_. And there was no way Alec Lightwood was going to admit that maybe he had a bit of a thing for _guys_, because male Shadowhunters didn't ever have things for guys. They just _didn't_.

„As much as I'd love to watch you continue your little hide-and-seek session with our precious Church, I promised Magnus I wouldn't be late for dinner, so it would be nice if you'd stop digging under that chair and wriggling your butt in the air like a fool. Just leave that poor cat alone already and sacrifice a bit of your precious time to talk to me," a very familiar voice said, so suddenly and unexpected Alec hit his head against the bottom of the chair because he tried to jump up.

„OW! _Fuck!", _he shouted, getting up more carefully now, rubbing his head and then turning around to look at the person with disbelief. „_Jace?! _What the hell are you doing here?!"

„That is definitely not the welcome I expected. You could hug me you know," Jace said, smirking. Alec just continued rubbing his head and staring at the blonde Shadowhunter like an idiot.

It had been three days since he'd last seen his parabatai, since he and Magnus ... well, it had been three days, and now Jace was showing up at the Institute to come talk to him? That couldn't possibly be good.

Alec sank into the same armchair he'd been under only seconds ago, looking at the smirking boy. „What do you want, Jace?" he asked, not even trying to sound nice.

And then something happened, and it took Alec a few seconds to figure out what it was because he'd never seen it happen ever before: Jace Wayland was getting kind of shy and he seemed to be searching for words.

Alec was wondering if his perception was fooling him when Jace started to talk, running one hand through his blonde hair and looking really, really uncomfortable. „What happened between you and Magnus?"

„Sorry?" Alec said, hoping he'd misunderstood his parabatai. But then Jace talked again and all of Alec's hopes died.

„I want to know what happened between you and Magnus, and I need to hear it from you because first off, you're my parabatai, and second Magnus wouldn't tell me a single wretched thing."

„He – he didn't tell you _anything_?" Alec said, feeling a bit relieved. Maybe Magnus wasn't planning some murderous revenge or something and they still had a chance.

„Nothing at all; he'd just tell me to leave him alone and then listen to some really crappy music so loud my ears actually bled," Jace answered without the slightest sarcastic hint.

„But then why is it so important to you?" Alec asked, trying to win himself some time. He still wasn't sure if he was ready to admit what was inevitably coming if he started to have this conversation.

„See, I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but I don't mind who you're kissing as long as it doesn't affect me. And this, unfortunately, does affect me," Jace said.

„Um ... in which way?" Alec tried to understand what Jace meant, but he had the feeling he'd fail just as usually.

„Well, you are my parabatai, and I do care about my parabatai, a lot more than I might be showing most of the time. And if my parabatai happens to be heartbroken or upset, that's quite a shitty feeling, and I don't really need any more shitty feelings to deal with at the moment. Also, I am forced to live with Magnus for a while, and I have been tolerating his crappy music for quite some time, and if he burns another inhuman meal I will rip his stupid, beloved hair out until he goes back to normal again. Oh, and I got the feeling that maybe he wasn't the one who made a mistake, but in fact _you're _the one who should think about his decisions, actions and feelings once more," Jace explained, trying to stay calm like Izzy had instructed him when he told her what he was going to do. But staying calm had never been his greatest asset, and so he couldn't help but angrily raise his voice a little at the end of his monologue.

„_I'm _the one who made a mistake?!" Alec gasped, hardly believing what he'd heard.

„Yes, you are," Jace told him, and, before he was even able to think of a possible answer, continued, „And I want you to rethink your decision to run away, your opinion on Magnus and, most of all, on me."

„On _you?!" _Alec started to pray Jace was kidding because god, he was so not ready for this.

„Yes," Jace said simply. „What do you think of me, Alec? What do you _feel?_"

Alec fell silent, trying to ignore the fact how hot his cheeks felt and what an ugly red his face must've been colored by now. After a few minutes he eventually gathered up enough courage to actually answer Jace.

„I ... I love you," he whispered, feeling even more hot. God, he was going to light up and burn down to a tiny pile of ashes if Jace didn't stop.

„You do," Jace said, „but not in the way you think."

„_What?!_" Alec stared at him disbelievingly. Jace couldn't have said that, right? He just couldn't.

„You do love me, but not in the same way you love Magnus," Jace said, totally calm now. Secretly he wondered if Alec's face color was still healthy or if he should prepare to call an ambulance.

„I – I do _not _love Magnus!" Alec shouted, panicking. „It was just a kiss, Jace, _just a kiss_, okay? It didn't mean anything. I don't love Magnus, hell, I don't even _like _him! I have loved you since we were eight years old. You are everything I have ever wanted and I can't believe I'm telling you this because you are _so _off limits! And I know you will never feel the same, but please don't try to force me into anything I don't want. And believe me, I really don't want Magnus."

„You might be a clever guy, Alec Lightwood, but sometimes you are just _such an idiot_," Jace said, moving over to him, resting his hands on both sides of Alec, slowly bending down. „I hate to do this, but fine. As long as it gets you two back to normal, fine. _Fine._"

And he leaned in, closing his eyes, remembering what Izzy had told him, hoping that this would be enough to make Alec realize the truth, and kissed him.

The kiss didn't even last long, but it left Alec breathless for sure. He didn't even have time to do anything like kiss him back or shove him away or something, because in the second he realized that in fact, he and Jace were kissing, the other boy pulled back, straightening his back and arranging his hair like nothing happened.

„What the hell was _that _for?!" Alec shouted, jumping up all breathless and red-faced.

„That was quite interesting, not my style though," Jace said and then smirked. „Sorry mate."

Alec couldn't believe he had the nerve to be _smirking _and call that kiss „interesting" while he felt like he was about to either strangle someone or shatter into a million pieces.

„I love you, Alec Lightwood. I really do. But only, and that is the keyword here, as a parabatai and brother, in a platonic way. This was an only thing and won't ever be repeated, if not absolutely neccessary. Also, I want you to tell me something," Jace said, taking two steps back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. „Did it feel different than the kiss with Magnus?"

Instead of shouting at Jace or breaking down crying or punching his parabatai in the gut like he really wanted to, Alec actually took a second to think about Jace' question, only to realize that yes, _it had felt indeed very different._

And that was what he told the blonde Shadowhunter whose lips had been on his own only seconds ago.

„Define 'different'," Jace commanded, looking at him like he was a bomb going to blow off any second.

„Um ... it was good, but ... but there was something ... missing. Yeah, I guess that's it. There was something missing, be it the spark or the butterflies in my belly or the way my heart leaped when Magnus touched my face, something was missing and I didn't like it. Not as much as kissing Magnus," Alec said quietly, realising he'd said nothing but the truth. He wasn't sure if he liked that truth, though.

„See? That's what I told you. You have been admiring me ever since, but now you met Magnus and all it takes is you to go meet him and apologize so you can have him back," Jace said, breaking into a blinding smile.

„You ... you really think so?" Alec asked, rubbing his face confusedly.

„I am one hundred percent sure about that," Jace said, turned around and walked out. In the door he stopped to turn around once more, looking at Alec smirking, and said: „Oh, and Alec? Beware, Magnus is quite a bitchy little shit when he's angry. Don't let him turn you into a toad or something."

And then he was gone, and Alec collapsed back into the armchair, his face in his hands, not knowing whether to laugh because it seemed so easy or to cry because he knew what he would have to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: SHAME ON ME! I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SUCH A HORRIBLY LONG TIME! I CAN ONLY HOPE YOU ALL FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.**

**Jeez, lately I've been REALLY HORRIBLE with updating, ugh. And again, sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry. I am such a knob.**

**But nooow, I finally got holidays, which means free time, which means fandom time! Yaaay!**

**After all this apologising, I want to say I love you all so much, and thank you 600000000000000000 times for waiting so patiently! I really hope you find it was worth it!**

**Also a huuuge thanks for all the lovely reviews, that really means a lot. Don't be afraid to comment and message me, I do not bite! **

**If you want to contact me, you can either IM me here or follow my twitter, tumblr and / or instagram:**

**Twitter: ** /CharlotteJeanF

**Tumblr: **

**Instagram: ** /CharlotteJeanFlamel

**Oh, and be sure to check my other fanfictions out, I would appreciate that a lot!**

**So, um, what is left to say? Oh yeah, this is the final part of the fic. It took me really long (as you may have noticed) to get this right, but I wanted to be 100 percent sure about it before I was going to update, and I kept changing and changing and changing again, but now I am finally satisfied. I hope you are, too!**

**Then, this is dedicated to my awesome, lovely, wonderful, inspiring, amazing parabatai, Alexandra! Really, girl, you have done so much for me and I love you. This is all for you, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Go check her out on Twitter: ** /herondxle_

**And for those of you who care, here is the link to mine and Alexandra's second Twitter, a fan account we made about Teen Wolf. It would be lovely if you'd check it out :-)**

**Here's the link: ** /SterekIsTheOTP

**Okay, I guess that's it. So, make sure to keep your eyes open for my next fic (I think it's gonna be Sterek, for all the Wolfies out there) and r & r! **

**I heart you all so much!**

**Cheers**

**Xx**

**chapter 4**

Alec was so nervous he had started to do that one thing he hated the most: bite his nails.

Normally, Alec couldn't stand anyone who bit his nails and told them, no matter who they were, after about ten seconds he noticed they were a nail-biter, how disgusting it looked and that it was really not good, neither for their image nor their hands. Especially the hands.

He refused to shake hands with anyone who bit their nails, and he could hardly look at them, feeling his eyes settle on the nails every time, making him sick to his stomach.

But today wasn't a normal day at all, and so Alec broke all the rules of Ways-To-Look-Good and bit his nails.

The ones of the left hand were already bitten down to the cuticles, and he was momentarily chewing on the pinkie of his right hand. He glanced at the clock for about the sixteenbillionth time, only to notice that not even a minute had gone by since he'd last checked.

He let out a huge, sad sigh and continued chewing on his fingernail, trying not to break down.

It was 28 minutes past eight in the evening, and Izzy was about to pick him up, exchanging him for Jace once more. The plan was that Isabelle and Jace would go to the movies, coming back around midnight, giving Alec enough time to clear up everything with Magnus.  
Alec felt his stomach wrench nervously when he thought about the plan again. Yesterday evening it had sounded like a great plan, brilliant almost, but now it felt utterly wrong and Alec was sixteenthousand percent sure it would not work out. Presumably Magnus would laugh at him before he turned him into a cockroach and stepped on him until there was nothing left of Alec Lightwood than a bit of brown cockroach mush on the floor.

Grimassing as he thought of the pain he was going to experience, Alec checked the clock once more and then started to chew on his ring finger. It was 30 minutes past eight and Izzy still hadn't shown up.

After another six painful minutes and two more fingernails, the door flew open so suddenly Alec winced, sinking his teeth into the thumb of his right hand.

„Ow!" he shouted as soon as he'd taken the finger out of his mouth, looking at his sister angrily.

„Don't frown like that, it'll do nothing but leave ugly crinkles in your precious skin," Isabelle said, playing with the keys of her car. „Are you ready to go?"

„You are sixteen minutes late," Alec said coldly.

„Woah, calm down. Jace'll be out at eight fourtyfive, so we still have enough time left. Everything's all right," Izzy said, holding one hand up in defense.

„I hurt myself because of you," Alec told her, holding up his bleeding thumb, trying to make her feel at least a little bit guilty.

Izzy closed the distance between them with two quick steps, took his hand and studied the finger. Then she shrugged, let go of him and said, undismayed, „It's not gonna fall off. You will survive. Stop ranting and come on, will you?"

And with that she turned around and walked out. Alec sighed again and followed her eventually.

As soon as Izzy pulled into the driveway and Jace came in sight, Alec panicked. He felt his head grow dizzy and his breathing became rapid and shallow. Sweat ran down his neck and he felt the very sudden and very strong need to puke.

To his surprise, Isabelle turned to look at him, her face softening as she noticed what was going on. She placed her hand gently on Alec's left shoulder, forcing him to look at her, and said, „Hey, everything's gonna be alright. Just go in there, tell Magnus how you feel, and then you two make out or something and live happily ever after, and it's gonna be fine."

„It won't," Alec whimpered, breathing heavier with each passing second.

„Trust me, it will. You can do it. You are Alec Lightwood, and you are amazing, and supergood-looking, and Magnus is head over heels for you, so it will turn out just fine. Believe me," she said, still trying to calm him down. It nearly worked.

„He will kill me and then have my body for breakfast," Alec nearly squealed, but then he opened the door and got out. Jace walked up to him, but instead of making a sarcastic comment, he just looked at his parabatai, hugged him tight and said: „It will be fine, trust me."

When he got in the car and he and Izzy left, driving away far too quick, Alec was close to just break down, curling into a ball and lay on the floor crying until they came back.

He had already sunken to his knees when his eyes found the window he knew belonged to Magnus' kitchen, and suddenly he felt calm enough to make his way into the building and up the stairs. In his mind he still saw the yellow square of light, and it was as if it gave him enough strength to make it to Magnus' door and knock, hesitantly at first and then more fierce.

It was when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door when he decided to turn around and run as fast as his legs would do.  
He was already halfway down the first staircase when he heard the familiar voice he'd missed so badly shout, „Stupid Shadowhunter! I _told _you not to forget your jacket only minutes ago, but of course the oh-so-awesome Jace Wayland is too great to listen to a simple warlock!"

It was like Magnus' voice was a magnet, drawing Alec close and back to the door in the half of a second. The door opened, and Alec saw the face he'd missed so much it hurt, and the missing turned into a desperate _need, _impossible to ignore.

Alec felt a smile spread over his whole face, but then he noticed Magnus' expression turning from angry into shocked, sad and really pissed all at once.

„Oh," the warlock said, „it's not Jace. But come on, how could I expect _the other_ stupid Shadowhunter to show up?"

It was not so much the „stupid Shadowhunter" but far more the disgusted look Magnus gave him that hurt Alec. He really felt like a cockroach now, or like something unpleasant sticking to the warlock's shoe.

„Um, Magnus..." Alec started, not sure how to bring the subject on.

„What do you want?" Magnus snapped, giving him such a hateful look it actually stinged in Alec's chest.

„I want to talk," he managed to say, staring at this face he knew so well now. How had he never noticed how pretty Magnus Bane actually was ever before?

„You can talk to whoever you like, but not to me. We are _so_ done with each other," Magnus said, closing the door. Alec put his foot between the wood and the door frame just in time.

„I want you to listen to me," he said, feeling more confident now. Izzy's words still ringed in his ears, making him feel less anxious and more calm.

Magnus opened the door again, just a little bit, and he didn't say anything, but it was good enough for Alec. So he started: „See, I talked to Jace."

„Wow! Congrats to you! And, what did he say?" Magnus answered sarcastically.

„He rejected me," Alec told him.

„Oh, I understand. It all makes perfect sense now," Magnus said, his eyes growing even more hateful, his voice sharp. „Your little crush doesn't want you, so you come running back to me, the only person in this world who ever _really_ wanted you. Well guess what? That's over now. I don't want someone who sees me as nothing but a last resort."

The pain hit Alec so suddenly he took a step back, which allowed Magnus to close the door fiercely. Once again, Alec threw himself against the dark wood, stopping the warlock from closing the door and locking him out.

„WAIT!" he shouted, the panic clear and dominant in his voice. Magnus growled at him, and then he opened the door again and said, so quiet and fast Alec needed to concentrate to catch everything: „Do you remember how you told me you never wanted to hurt me? Well I _am _hurt now."

Alec tried to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Magnus held one hand up as if he wanted to stop him, and continued: „I am hurt, and it's all because of you. See, I know you're a Shadowhunter and I'm a warlock and we're both guys and this is kinda off limits. I tend to seem really self-conscious and of course I am horribly good looking, but behind all that glitter, I am just another heartbroken guy looking for love. And in the moment that we kissed, I thought I had it. I genuinely thought I found _The One _and I am not ashamed to say that I was sure it was you. Seems I was wrong, huh? And I still haven't given up the hope that maybe, one nice day, you will seriously think so too."

And he turned around and started to walk away, not even caring to close his door. Alec stood there, overwhelmed, staring at the warlock's back in complete shock. And then, just before Magnus entered his living room, he said, „But I do."

Magnus turned around, looking at him disbelievingly. „Sorry?" he asked, being sure that he'd misheard the young Shadowhunter.

„I do. I am a guy, maybe without the glitter but who cares, fact is I am heartbroken, and I am looking for love, the one true love in my life, and I believe I found it," Alec said, his heart thumping as lout as never before.

They just looked at each other for a few seconds, and the next thing Alec could remember was being pressed against the wall, hot lips on his. He didn't know who'd started the kiss and if he was honest, he couldn't care less, because the only thing that mattered was that he was there, kissing Magnus, feeling so happy he wanted to cry.

And thankfully, they continued kissing, in a way that felt like Magnus was drowning and Alec was the air he needed to survive, and Alec answering the kiss in the same way.

And in that moment, he wasn't heartbroken at all.


End file.
